You don’t have to grieve alone

Understanding bereavement

Grief is a very personal process, and it can take many months or years to come to terms with it. In the immediate aftermath of the death, you may feel any number of emotions. Some of these might include:

These emotions are completely normal. Grieving is a normal process and you should not feel guilty for feeling any or all of the above. When someone passes away, the pain is shared by Muslims and non Muslims alike. It can have a profound effect on your life and can leave you feeling alone, but we can help.

Islamic teaching

There is nothing wrong with these feelings, as we can see from the example of our Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He ﷺ encountered many bereavements in his lifetime. During the ‘Year of Grief’ Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lost his beloved uncle, Abu Taalib and his dear wife, Khadeejah RA. What was clear from his example during such difficult times, was that while he was certainly grieving, he demonstrated such beautiful patience.

At the time of the death of his son, Ibrahim RA, Muhammad ﷺ took him in his hands, he kissed him and smelled him. As Ibrahim RA took his last breaths, Allah’s Messenger ﷺ wept. At this, one of the companions said “Even you are weeping!” He ﷺ said:

The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim! Indeed, we are grieved by your separation.

Bukhari

While there was grief, the Prophet ﷺ remained graceful in how he handled his grave loss. He remained humble but demonstrated that weeping and sadness at the time of a tragedy, with gracefulness, is human.

From Islamic teachings, we also know that there is no Muslim that is afflicted with a calamity, and he says what Allah has commanded him to say, “To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return! O Allah, give me the rewards of (being patient over) this calamity, and grant me something better than it,” except that Allah will give him something better to replace it. [Muslim]

And so while the idea of being patient at the time of losing a loved one may seem impossible, there is huge reward promised by Allah. We are all the creation of Allah and we will all return to Him. Our loved ones are a trust from Allah for a fixed amount of time. The separation is a temporary one, only to be united once again forever and ever in the hereafter.

May Allah grant Jannah to all the deceased, and patience to all the bereaved. Ameen.

Need urgent help? If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999. For urgent medical advice call NHS 111. Samaritans are available day and night, free, on 116 123.